KK's blog

The Steampunk Orchestra presents : The Magic Lantern

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:56:32 +0200

400 years since some bloke called Galileo decided to look up one night, I find myself in the Brittany countryside on a balmy summer’s night doing the very same thing.

Thanks to a complete absence of light pollution, stargazing really is something else out here. The pitiful handful of stars (if any) one can see in the London sky pale into insignificance once your eyes have feasted on the French countryside’s vast tableau of the universe around us. In fact, even with my naked eye I can clearly see the cloudy band of the Milky Way encircling us as we invisibly hurtle through space at close to half a million miles per hour – it’s really quite spectacular. As for Galileo, the catholic church of course famously condemned him for his ‘heresy’ before finally admitting he was right after all.. a mere 359 years later in 1992! and I thought record labels were slow.. zzzz

I’m writing this with paint splattered fingers as I have been painting by day, a frivolous archaic pastime to complement my two core daily activities of drinking wine and getting sunburnt. Today’s efforts however resulted in something which I can only describe as a particularly primitive cave painting by a blind primary school child with learning difficulties. It’s a grotesquely ugly seascape which I annoyingly decided to paint over quite a nice lush golden abstract piece, which was before that a rural farm scene. Still, the fire will burn well tonight.

I’m here taking a welcome few days out after having completed my new record “The Magic Lantern”. The album is an instrumental fantasy soundtrack, an adventure set in the surreal, romantic Neo Victorian universe of the Steampunk.

In a journey of pure artistic indulgence, I recorded it with an eclectic, hugely talented, bunch of musicians called The Steampunk Orchestra.

There are some clips on our site if you’d like a sneak preview – www.kkthemusic.com .. the album will be available to buy (or preorder) there on deluxe CD, and on MP3 via iTunes etc from 09/09/09

a bientot mes amis,

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record production today (podcast discussion featuring KK)

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:30:01 +0200

KK joined a group of record producers (including Steve Levine and Simon Gogerly) for a geeky discussion on the changing face of record production (hosted by B&W Music Lab)

iTunes users listen to the (free) podcast here - http://xr.com/bwpodcast

alternatively an mp3 version and text transcription is here - http://blog.bowers-wilkins.com/lab/

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Tea, hoverboards, USB fingers and Pinot Noir

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:02:42 +0100

What are dreams? .. I’m still trying to figure out the impossible limbo between asleep and awake.. I feel like most of us I lead a double life, and so have recently been very much exploring the grey (or not so grey) link (if any) between two distinct existences.

I’m not the only one who has trouble with the basic transitions, waking up / going to sleep. My laptop takes about a fortnight to power up or shut down. I don’t know what it’s doing – it spends more time ‘thinking’ than Steven Hawking but has yet to contribute anything of value to society..

Anyway, like many artists, many of my most original ideas come to me lucidly by night and my work whilst awake is very much about adventuring into strange otherworlds, of which the dreamspace is one. The portals are not always obvious and often hide in the periphery of vision, to vanish instantly on conscious inspection. It’s a bit like trying to get through to Vodafone customer services - the connection is nebulous at best and you never really know if you will ever get through (and how long it will actually last when you do).

I’m inspired in my explorations by the work of Dali and Gaudi, as well as someone who famously sketched many of his wildest ideas in the small hours, the great polymath himself Da Vinci – sculpter, painter, anatomist, inventor, astronomer, MC..

No one really knows why we dream. No one’s entirely sure why we even sleep. Perhaps as Carl Sagan suggested, it’s simply a mammalian hangover to protect us from the nightly cold, and large predators who want to eat our small furry bodies.

The science of sleep is fascinating, for example did you know that gut feeling of suddenly falling is literally your blood pressure dropping? – that night-time feeling we all know well, the ‘hypnic jerk’ happens when drifting off to sleep your body can mis-interpret the brain sleeping as the onset of death(!), and so drops blood pressure and sends an electric pulse out to attempt to revive your body, often resulting in you waking up with that strange but familiar AAAH! WTF!? thing..

I woke up oddly this morning, ripped brutally from my vivid nocturnal adventures, I awoke instantly though not entirely lucid - the kind of awake one is ten seconds after snorting vodka off a teaspoon (I don’t recommend this by the way).

So here I am.. slowly phasing back into the ‘real world’ (whatever that means) with my daily (re)birth trauma accentuated by a mild but irritating hangover. It dawns on me now that I possibly had a little too much wine yesterday afternoon/evening.

Ah, seduced yet again by the pleasures of the senses – so ironic many of the few bonuses reality has to offer is escaping it in one way or another, and there’s always a painful pay-off. Perhaps death is nothing to be feared, possibly the ultimate pleasurable experience even. We’ll all find out sooner or later let’s face it, there’s no hurry.

Life is for living as the cliché goes. Which brings me neatly to wine.

There are a couple of absolutely stunning wines available at the moment which (despite my current state) I simply must recommend you. For white Marlborough region Sauvignon Blanc is just awesome this year, and red, pretty much any New Zealand Pinot Noir is always a great bet. Californian Duck Pond label is reeally good too right now (especially the Merlot). New World is the way I reckon. French wine of course is always best enjoyed in France itself - they just don’t export the good stuff, or rather when they do, they weigh it like gold dust (perhaps they fly it Ryanair)

Now to drink wine properly of course we all know one needs to *slurp* - allowing oxygen to flow around tongue activating the necessary sense of smell which combines with the base of taste to give a full spectrum of flavour (our tongue sensor is 4 bit, our nose -16 bit). So only neck the really bad stuff basically. Although lately I’ve been applying The Slurp to all manner of drinks, lemonade, tea.. it certainly enhances taste in general. Ok, this advice is hardly rocket surgery but it’s a neat thing to bear in mind, and it can also bug the hell out of your drinking buddies/dinner date if you so wish.

Morning for me is centered not around wine, but a different beverage. Yes I am a national stereotype. I am of course talking about TEA.

Ahh, just typing that made me feel good.

From a teapot mind.. none of this teabag malarkey (or teabagging for that matter, let’s keep this clean).. Of course if you’re in the US or Europe never attempt serious tea-drinking, unless you enjoy another great British pastime, the art of secretly craving disappointment at every opportunity - stick to coffee which is generally far superior globally.

Tea has to be one of the high points of British culture. Don’t get me wrong I’m not being ‘patriotic’ here, I couldn’t care less about the Queen, Teletubbies, Benny Hill or bad dentistry, I just really like tea (interesting the word patriotic comes from father as used by the state and church (pope/papa/our father) to give a sense of family structure, hierarchy, etc)

I heard the other day the Apollo moon landings cost 1 US dollar per citizen, Vietnam $3, and the recent economy/bank bailout, about $4000 per US voter.. even with 40 years of inflation that’s some diff.. Perception is a funny thing though. Money doesn’t really exist of course. The jury’s out on whether we even exist in any real sense of the word, but here we are so I guess we’d best get on with it and get spending our nonexistent money on nonexistent things.

The Future.

Ok we don’t yet live on biodomes on the surface of Mars, but there is some evidence the future (as promised in 1980’s documentary Back To The Future) is finally here.

Yes a working hoverboard !

http://www.futurehorizons.net/hoverboard.htm

Ok, so it’s basically a crude hovercraft powered by a lawnmower engine but still..

Or how about this cyborg?..

http://scienceroll.com/2009/03/14/usb-finger/

OK, I look around, it’s hardly Metropolis (visually) is it? .. Ever seen Oscar Niemeyer’s buildings? That is what I expected 2009 to look like.. Asimov stuff..

Oscar Niemeyer lived to 101, though perhaps spent too long asleep looking for cool designs in dreamworld, if only he had been more prolific here (and Gaudi wasn’t hit by that bloody tram) there are so many ugly buildings…

Not that any of us notice as we’re all looking at screens writing nonsensical rambling blogs (exhibit A) or telling everyone how bored we are on Twitter..

Yes I’m now too a resident of Twitterland (www.twitter.com/kkmusic ) .. I don’t (yet) have a USB finger but can I be let back in for that fellow geeks? Pleeez.

Anyway my musical Park Guell will be open later this year, will keep you posted, you will of course be the first to know especially if you are brave enough to click here and join my mailing list

Meantime, if we meet in the dreamworld, do stop for a cuppa..

www.kkthemusic.com

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Science Bless America.. Lightbulbs, NF3 and Listerine

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:02:06 +0100

I'm writing to you on this historic day, as Barack Obama is inaugurated as the 44th US President.

It's historic of course because Mr Obama happens to be black, and so today marks the (hopeful) end of the quite ludicrous racial prejudices which have plagued the country for years. Quite how the melanin content of someone's skin should be such an issue is beyond me, but anyway, it's happened, it's fantastic and a grandoise backdrop of Washington celebrations and a new, hopeful America dawns on my TV as I blog away on my little laptop in frosty London

So, Jan 20th, already.. WTF!? time flies huh.

I thought instead of my usual rambling words, I'd share a few interesting 'pub quiz' facts I've found out in these first 20 days of 2009 ..

1. Cellphones are not likely to be unsafe in flight

Airplane cockpits have apparently been shielded from electromagnetic interferance since the 1960s. Huh?

The main reason mobile phone calls are not permitted on planes is that when your phone looks for a signal at 30,000 feet it can hit hundreds of aerial towers at once, which causes technical hassles for the mobile operators, in that simply put, they're not sure how to bill you for the call. No mystery there then.

2. The gas in an average flat screen TV is 17,000 times more Global Warming than CFCs

Irony in action if, like me, you've sat in front of one of these things and watched 'Planet Earth' for hours on end.

Nitrogen trifluoride (or NF3) is a greenhouse gas just like CFC, though it's much much more destructive. It just happens to be not covered in the Kyoto agreement and therefore legal. Flat screens are so popular, emissions of NF3 are almost doubling yearly. We all value this meaningless crap over our planet, it makes me sad. I listen to (now) President Obama's inspiring speech, and hope he, America, myself and the Western world can indeed change in the ways he expresses so well.

3. The printing press was pioneered by the Catholic Church

Yes, we all know their big fairytale was quite the blockbuster, but in fact even this was not what got the printing press off the ground. Fact is in 1455 only a handful of people could read, so replicating a book would have been pretty pointless (even by religion's standards).

No, what they needed (at the time) was money. So rather entrepreneurially they decided to make some. Not in terms of printing bills (that would of course be pure fraud, which a religious institution would never be guilty of), no just mere exploitation, printing small handwritten notes they called "Indulgences".

These notes would 'forgive' the bearer of a particular 'sin' and literally buy their way out of Purgatory (a kind of middle hell).. Anyway, these became extremely popular across Europe, so popular in fact that the old method of handwriting them was soon overtaken by printing, and so the newly invented printing press boomed!

4. Leave the lights on!

I was taught as a child not to be wasteful, and in these economic and environmentally aware times, I have been doubly aware of the simple act of turning off the lights when I leave a room. Turns out I've been wrong. The new type of lightbulb uses most of it's energy on 'bootup' and therefore turning it off and on all day makes it highly inefficient!

So now, if you're leaving a room but plan to come back (within a few hours anyway, not like, ever) leave the light on!

5. Mouthwash was originally a floor cleaner

Listerine, the original mouthwash was invented in the 1800s as a surgical antiseptic. It was later sold as a floor cleaner, but it wasn't very popular.

So, in quite a brilliant piece of PR spin, in the 1920s they decided to abandon the cleaning racket and market it as a new product instead - a "mouth-wash". Later, the brilliant advertiser involved said, "we didn't so much invent mouthwash, as invent halitosis". Shame no-one told my science teacher to drink the floor cleaner instead of endless cups of foul coffee (urgh, can still remember the stench).

Well, no doubt I've bored you enough. Back to America, check out this wicked 17 gigabyte photo of Yosemite..

Visit KK's world at :

www.kkthemusic.com

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What causes nightmares?.. Are dreams always in color?.. Nun urinals??!

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 14:09:23 +0100

Last night I had the most horrific nightmare.

Like most people I generally dream in colour, but when I have a nightmare it is always in the same vivid tone - a kind of dark, high contrast black and white (those of you with 'Raw Fear' will have seen Simon Marsden's stunning photography, it's not unlike this)

Anyway, I've never been able to fathom why this is the case.. maybe I caught a glimpse of a black and white horror film when I was a child?, or perhaps it's a universal thing (do you dream in colour or b&w? are your good dreams the same tone as your bad ones?)

I personally think it has something to do with the abstraction of time, I even find watching very old cinematic footage disturbing sometimes, kind of like looking at ghosts..

I read of a study recently which found that people who grew up before colour television dream almost exclusively in black and white, and the rest of us in colour, suggesting the media has a lot to do with it. This however doesn't explain it, after all I don't dream in a kind of 1980's video hue, and I doubt todays children dream in a YouTube pixelated style. Besides, my monochromatic reveries only apply to the dark and twisted.. the plain old surreal and sexy ones broadcast in glorious technicolor.

Back to my nightmare. Like most vivid dreams, the intensity was more in the mood and feeling, the details of the 'plot' have since vanished into the ether. Needless to say it was quite Saw/Hostel esque and involved some crazed butcher chasing me and cutting people up and me waking up caught in the grip of the primeval fear of the hunted which nearly all life on earth experiences daily.

We are fortunate that for most of us human beings such intense fear is limited to the bedroom (missus), that said the insanity of the horrific genocide of Rwanda 14 years ago (which left behind 500,000 machete'd corpses) has flared up again in the Congo. Africa, the world, humanity, we're in such a bloody mess, it's daunting.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the now trivial matter of mon petit cauchemar.

In the cold light of day I can see the intense animalistic feeling of hunted/hunter in such a dreamstate are related to the fact that largely dormant part of the brain, the R Complex (which has evolutionarily been there since we were even smaller and less furry) wakes up and flexes it's crude reptilian feelings a little in the night when the more 'human' areas of the brain are resting or busy sorting out memories (allegedly one of the main purposes of dreaming).

Aside from this, I realised this morning I have not the faintest idea what causes bad dreams, so I wiki'd it..

"Nightmares are typically caused by illness, anxiety, stress, bereavement.."

ok neither one of which I've suffered from recently

"..or are alcohol related"

ah.

Ok I have to confess I am typing this with something of a hangover.

Last night was the launch night for an album I produced earlier this year for a fun new band called Elova. A three piece (one piece of which is essentially just a wooden box), Elova are fellow Devonians (a part of the 'West Country' here in the UK), and onstage are this multicoloured explosion of upbeat party pop, musically they range from 1940's Tom & Jerry style cartoon music to soulful 70's funk. Was certainly a fun and different thing for me to be involved in (they kept a 'behind the scenes' blog if you want gory details on that). As for the record, it's called 'Sweetbox' and you can get it (and more info etc) on their site..

The other album I produced this year, was of course the new Mediaeval Baebes record, 'Illumination'

Some of you from the USA or Europe might have caught the fair maidens in action on their recent tour, they are doing a few dates in the UK around Christmastime and then back to the US for a longer tour in the new year. Illumination will be available generally in the new year and is available at the shows and on their website.

Winter has really set in here in London. Cold and with approximately 40 minutes of daylight per day, it's now the middle of the afternoon and already dark.. Later it's 'Bonfire Night' and there are already explosions in the frosty London air (great for the aforementioned hangover). In reality, the UK's Guy Fawkes Night lasts from September until January when the last fireworks shop in town returns to its default state of a sad looking disused unit. It's like our equivalent of 4th July but with hints of good old British misery and drunkeness. I'm actually sat here with a large cup of tea, feeling quite the stereotype..

Anyway, I shall have to drink my tea and type quicker as I'm sooned to be dragged to the fireworks display at Alexandra Palace, which this year is apparantly accompanyed by a mock German Oktoberfest (ironically the huge building was used as a POW camp for captured Germans during WW2) .. anyway it all sounds rather hideous and being a bone fide nerd, I would rather of course stay here basking in the warmth of my laptop screen.. but such is life..

I actually had the geniune Bavarian bierkellar experience a few weeks ago when visiting Munich, during which I drank my bodyweight in Weissbeir (I can't remember if I had nightmares, nor indeed anything much of that day)

Munich is a very pretty historic looking city which oddly seems to have more cathedrals than houses, about one per street, sometimes two. Anyway something struck me as I wandered past these huge old churches..

It's well known that monolithic towers, church spires, monuments, Effiel Tower etc are pretty unsubtle phallic symbols... is it me or are some cathedral entrances decidedly vagina shaped?!

Perhaps it's sexually frustrated architects, or like the phallic towers, some kind of subtle symbolism (birth/rebirth?..). I dunno.

from the sublime to the ridiculous.. nun urinals..

Visit KK at: www.KKtheMusic.com

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Trick or Treat.. Halloween for adults!

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:27:55 +0200

Raw Fear is a unique Halloween Horror experience boxset containing atmospheric halloween horror music cd, bonus shocking sound effect cd, book of urban legends/ghost stories, party games, pranks and more!

Available at www.RawFear.Net (free worldwide delivery), and music only version available on iTunes and all major downloads sites (search for "Halloween Horror Music! by Raw Fear) or click on the link in RawFear.Net shop

Enjoy! Don't have nightmares now..

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Higgs Boson Discovered at CERN!

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:56:54 +0200

..is a headline we might be reading soon (ha! gotcha). Seriously..

Well it's been running for a couple of hours now and we're all still here.

The Large hadron Collider has finally been switched on in history's biggest experiment, an attempt to recreate the conditions of the big bang and unlock the mysteries of the universe.

14 years work and £4.5 Billion invested (500 million from the Uk alone, or about £10 per Uk citizen if you like), the LHC is an extraordinary, gigantic machine, manned by over 6000 scientists from all over the world. It is basically a 27km circular tunnel, frozen to deep space temporatures, 100m underground below the France/Swiss border in which they are attempting to spin two protons (steered by superpowered magnets) round in opposite directions at 99.9% the speed of light and then smash them together to recreate the conditions of the big bang! It's a little ambitious to say the least.

Over breakfast we watched as news teams tried desperately to make a bunch of camerashy scientists in front of a few monitors look newsworthy, a bemused BBC presenter spoke over the even said "well its not exactly the space shuttle is it?" (rrriight.)

I must admit having read a fair amount on the subject, and for comfort, the myriad spin press releases by CERN to counter the doomsday writers (a lot of which have been dismissed as Cassandras or even strangely disappeared from the web of late.. erm who was it that invented the internet again? hmmm), I was a tiny bit nervous this morning I admit (if only that my last meal would be cornflakes).

As one YouTuber put it 6 mins after Switch On - "Dammit I've already slit my wrists!"

Disaster is of course very very unlikely, the LHC is not likely to produce a black hole anywhere near big or powerful enough to swallow up the entire planet, or that wormholes into new dimensions will be opened at these energy levels, killer stranglets will not be released which will turn our universe to mush, etc etc.. though of course these stories, though unfounded, can't be totally written off as totally impossible - we're dealing with a whole frontier of the unknown here.

The LHC is perhaps however best explained via the medium of rap -

In fact once today's press formalities are over and (most of the world) has lost interest, the two more likely dates for a manmade apocalypse would be Oct 21st, ie when the first collisions are made, or in the new year when after the holidays they reboot the LHC at the full power of 14Tev. The end of humanity (the Earth itself is pretty tough) is far more likely to be in the hands of nature (eg a meteor), disease, poverty, overpopulation, genocide or terrorism/war in the hands of religious/political nutters. In short, the LHC is the least of our worries.

It's not really a worry at all in fact - it's Hope - and welcome evidence that humankind can come together in the pursuit of knowledge and intelligence in the reptilian face of materialism, greed, power, dogma, superstition and ritual. And the rest.

It is far more possible that the work achieved at CERN over the next few years will advance science and our understanding of the universe considerably, and in a way which could eventually help SAVE us all, give us a good future. The risk (if any) is negligable.

"The world will not come to an end", says Professor Stephen Hawking (who I'm honoured to hear has my latest Cd "Telescopes"!). When the true genius was asked if he absolutely had to choose between the space program and the LHC, he said - "That is like asking which of my children I would choose to sacrifice. Both the LHC and the Space program are vital if the human race is not to stultify and eventually die out."

A safety study by CERN itself said the following on safety - "Nature has already conducted the equivalent of about a hundred thousand LHC experimental programmes on Earth - and the planet still exists."

It's of course the elusive Higgs Boson (the 'god particle') which they are hoping to find (or not - either would be a result), and there is of course dark matter, anti matter and more to uncover.. all sorts of wild possibilties over the next few years - excitingly the possible discovery of proof of extra dimensions!One of the wildest possiblities is that the machine, once fully operational, could be effectively the very first time machine - this would effectively make this 'Year Zero' for temporal travel.. ie vistors from the future could only visit back as far as today.

Time travel is of course only a theory, but proven by Einstein's colleague Kurt Gödel in 1949 (based on Einstein's theory of relatively), but not yet fundamentally disproven. So if you see a car with flaming tyre tracks, or strange people in tin hats appear from nowhere in the next few months, ask them for some lottery numbers..

As for the practical implications, of course we have CERN to thank for this thing we're sat looking at now, the Internet, which they invented 20 years ago of course. And of course there's the PET scan, etc, if you really want to know where your £10 went.

It is however knowledge, exploration and inspiration here that is the most valuable asset to humanity. Exciting times. This is real history.

Find out more about KK's "Telescopes" project at www.KKTELESCOPES.com !

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KK Telescopes - album review

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:07:19 +0200

Some recent reviews of KK Telescopes :

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It’s not often you get to listen to an album you just don’t want to end… well, this is the case with KK’s new album “Telescopes,” which is as cosmic and lyrical album as I’ve heard in a long time.KK has worked with the likes of Eno and Bjork, so he brings us his music from high up. Pianos flicker, synthesizers rustle, percussion tinkles, strings swell, and over all this KK himself speaks and sings, sounding remarkably like Green of Scritti Politti.

Many of these songs drift and sigh like The Beloved in interstellar space. The story is of the vast number of planets, stars and galaxies in our universe, a tale told with a real sense of melody and emotive underlying chords. Wonderful stuff.

Some songs (for example “Pale Blue Dot” and the swoonsome “Dust”) feature female vocals also. Mixed into one too-short album, this work deserves real success. So, I didn’t want this one to end. So I played it once again…

Terrascopic

Terrascopic.co.uk

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Clearly not one to sell himself short, KK proclaims himself a “21st Century Genius” and although the name may not be familiar to many his CV boasts work with such diverse artists as Bjork, Eno and Britney Spears. ‘Telescopes’ is very much his own work though and it’s a journey through space, time and continents, largely based on electronic music.

Dispensing astrological wisdom, KK also knows how to write music that is attractive and listenable. ‘Magic Spell’ and ‘Voyager’ are made up of serene instrumental parts whilst ‘Pale Blue Dot’ takes the dreamlike state one step further with a beautiful sequence of synth melodies. Here, the journey of space exploration makes perfect sense.

Further on in the album, ‘Codebreaker’ mixes Eastern mysticism with beats and KK’s own Green Gartside-like singing. KK comes unstuck the more inflated his ego seems to get; ‘Ancestor Simulation’, for example, begins with the noirish atmosphere of a detective story before collapsing into a bombastic arrangement which wouldn’t sound out of place on ‘Riverdance’.

KK has created a concept album which flows nicely; capturing the ideas of an artist who has clearly learned from the vast range of talent he has collaborated with in the past.

Leonards Lair

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The press release says that he’s a technical wizard who has worked with master technical geeks Brian Eno and Bjork. Press releases are sometimes dubious, but after hearing the album, it’s pretty clear that this guy is a technical geek first-class.The mixing, instrumentals and sound effects are some of the most dazzling displays I’ve heard.

This a sci-fi concept album with plenty of geeky lyrics, and it sounds a lot like David Bowie’s 21st century masterpiece Heathen. (Apologies to anyone who wanted to know what the concept is about. I’m not that interested in deciphering it… I haven’t even gotten around to trying to figure out what Thick as a Brick was about.) There are so many colorful ideas and instrumental developments jam-packed in relatively short tracks that it’s insane. Amazingly so, these wild, unpredictable developments are so well-done that most of these tracks hold together very well.

Take “Dust” for instance. It’s just four minutes long, and it’s as though he worked pretty extensively on exploring different atmospheres and textures to fit in there. It’s really fun to listen to. “Magic Spell” is a masterpiece! If you’re a sucker for dream-pop/shoegazing stuff, it’s worth going out of your way to hear it. It’s one of the album’s most wild examples of this scatter-brained instrumental development, plus I adore that intoxicating, sort of atonal groove that pops up every once in awhile. Really nice stuff!

“Andromeda” is a fun, cinematic instrumental that sounds like a Starship Troopers battle piece. “Ancestor Simulation” is also a sort of cinematic song, with an obvious Asian influence. The ties to world music gives it a cool, exotic flavor. We can also pick up on some Indian influences in a pair of back-to-back songs “Infinity” and “Codebreaker.”

KK brought his head out of the fishbowl, briefly, to deliver a relatively normal song called “Paradise Found.”, a very pleasant ballad with a rather gorgeous, earthly atmosphere. The repetitive melody is fine, and has enough staying power to keep it sounding fresh for the whole five minutes. The first 30 seconds of “Pale Blue Dot” is excellent and earns second-place to “Magic Spell.” It’s based on four chords, which really raises a sort of mystical atmosphere… and of course, the highly developed instrumentation standards intensifies that emotion.

It’s really exciting for me to get an early look at this talent with a fresh debut album, and there’s a lot of promise. The geeky lyrics are definitely cool and cheesy (the way they were meant to be), and I was really dazzled by a lot of this.

Track by track highlights:

Dewdrop

This is a one-minute instrumental (although there is some vocalizations … though they were seemingly altered by a computer). A mid-range twinkly piano plays some scales while some synthesizer orchestrations pick up dramatically. It was designed to give us that outer space feel, which I think it did rather well. It makes an impression despite the short running length.

Dust

Listen to that technology! This guy really knows how to work those computers! This is a sort of spaced-out extravaganza with so many instrumental ideas packed into such a small amount of space that it’s almost jarring. I don’t dare count how many different sorts of instruments that can be heard throughout this… it’s like counting dust, I guess. Amazingly, these instrumental sections come in and out almost at random, and it doesn’t sound so incredibly awkward. You’re walking a dangerous line when you want to clutter up your songs with music, because usually it just sounds cluttered. But this is pretty fun to listen to.

Magic Spell

This is definitely worth listening to! It’s a lot like “Dust” except the ideas are even more extravagant, and the technology is about as dazzling as it gets. What’s more, the harmonies pass the test this time with flying colors. When the song first plays, we’re treated to an intoxicating, sort of atonal groove… and what ensues can only be described as “some really weird stuff.” It’s fun to listen to, also. Once again, there’s so many instruments and ideas that it’s impossible to count them…

Andromeda

I guess this would be a space military march, or something. Once again, this really sounds great. It’s not quite as busy as “Dust” or “Magic Spell” (and therefore, I guess, not as dizzying). But it’s still quite impressive in the technological front. We have a typical militaristic drum beat, and slow build-ups of different instruments. Notably, some Medieval-sounding vocals. This is fairly typical for something in any movie soundtrack, except I really like that wildly bending operatic soprano and I suppose that cool, sci-fi bass-line. Paradise Found
Hey, this is almost a normal song. And he’s even pretty good when he decides to go down this route. This is mostly a piano pop tune with a few guitars and light synthesizers added to the mix. The sound effects are brought to a surprising minimum! The melody isn’t so much hooky, but earthly. Nicely done!

Pale Blue Dot

The beginning is really mystical, thanks in part to a simple but effective harmonies, which raises the alien feeling of it. The sound effects, of course, are the whole point of the song. Those radio voices at the beginning were really cool, coupled with the atmospheric instrumentation. Crunch This is another one of those weird spacey songs that consists of cheesy spoken dialogue and funny synthesizers. It’s a little more “out-there” than “Sol 3,” not to mention longer. Bringing in those synthesized choir in the middle was great. This is the sort of thing you’d probably get at a planetarium show. (The final third is a dead-ringer for that.)

Michael Lawrence

Don Ignacio’s Music Reviews

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To buy or find out more about KK's album "Telescopes" visit www.KKTELESCOPES.com

Comments

Going the way of the dinosaurs..

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:40:22 +0200

We humans have a disturbing tendancy to think of ourselves as more important than anything else, the paragon of creation. Taking longterm survival as a measure of success as a life form, we are by no means successful.

Even the ill fated Dinosaur will likely (long term) to have fared better than us lot.

If you’re really keen to know, Arthropods are in fact the most successful type of living life form (on Earth anyhow), many species in this group (for example spiders and crabs) have been around a lot longer than us primates and yet have remained almost unchanged by evolution, unlike us of course who have evolved considerably over the millenia (with the exception of the current US president and Scouting For Girls fans).

Bizarre fact about arthropods: their heads and bodies can (for a time) function quite independently. In fact, in the case of the infamous preying mantis, the female often decapitates the male before sex, which apparently (with the brain safely separated from it) the body is left free of sexual inhibitions and therefore insuring she gets a ‘right good seeing to’. She of course then eats whats left of the male afterwards. Romance isn’t dead after all.

It may simply be limits set by having predators, disease, or starvation, but somehow wild animal populations manage to remain under control. It’s as if a natural form of family planning has evolved as an evolutionary strategy for the greater good. Animal birth rates typically remain stable, and don’t escalate in the way the human population is growing exponentially.

The current population escalation is scary to say the least:

In 1800 the human population on Earth was 1 billion. It is currently 6 billion. In 2040 (at the current rate of expansion) it will be 12 billion, by 2080; 24 billion!, 2120; 48 billion!, and so on..

The land (let alone the resources we have) cannot (and will not of course) support this amount of people. Drastic, and likely horrific things will happen, if we don’t control it somehow.

A brilliant example of this exponential growth given in Richard Dawkins famous book ‘The Selfish Gene’ -

“Taking South America as an example, current (1975) population of 300 million, many malnourished, individuals. In less than 500 years the population there alone will reach a point where people in standing position would form a solid human carpet across the entire continent.. in 1000 years they will be standing on each others shoulders a million deep, and in 2000 years the mountain of people travelling outwards at the speed of light would reach the edge of the known universe. “

It’s all about perspective. My last birthday was my Billionth. I had reached the grand old age of 1,000,000,000 (seconds). Thats a lot of candles, or shots of tequila.. (i’m not sure if some sort of crisis is in order, but gifts gladly accepted)

Point is, Mother Earth got a lot more crowded in that one year since i last blew out my candles - an increase (ie the surplus after equalising births and deaths) of 70 million people. Another 70, 000, 000 mouths to feed - for perspective, the same amount as the entire current population of the UK. What is the solution?

It is well documented that one cause of high birth rates is poverty. The developing countries are reaching an evermore crucial state. Alongside abject poverty, starvation and the horrors that we in the West have almost become immune to hearing/caring about, there are major issues with education and birth control. The grim alternatives (war, famine, disease..) are cropping up more and more frequently in the place of us sorting out the world’s poverty problem (and therefore it’s population/resources problem).

It’s not of course that simple, but it is a major part of the problem/solution. As the exponential growth curve is generational, one very simple way we can slow it down is this: to try and have children later in life (for example at age 30 rather than 18), again going back to the poverty thing, we see this trend happening more often in economically comfortable environments, so this perhaps happens naturally when the circumstances are good.

Now I’m not being misanthropic here, I just think we humans need to learn a bit of humility (!). Overpopulation could literally dry out the earth’s resources in a matter of years. We’re already seeing this happen with the current grain-food-oil flow problems. We won’t necessarily ‘be alright’.. no one is going to ‘fix it for us’ (as citizens/consumers all of us it is so easy to become sedantry about these things). We’re arrogant enough naturally (as a species) about our divine place in the universe, and the way things could go, we won’t last that much longer. The arrogant always, always fall with a mighty bang.

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KK produces Mediaeval Baebes

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:12:17 +0200

Greetings from the 14th Century!

Life is currently mediaeval mayhem, as I've found myself in the company of six fair maidens known as the Mediaeval Baebes.

I'm home in London producing the girls' sixth album, and we're having a blast. It's sounding fantastic.

More on this later, for now here are a few 'behind the scenes' pics of us recording at Air studios..

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The Gaudi of music.. wooden submarines...

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:00:59 +0200

I’m sitting in the colossal shadow of one of the most incredible manmade (well, halfmade) structures on the planet. I’m in Barcelona, staring up at Gaudi’s infamous Sagrada Familia, and it’s impressive to say the least.

Now usually these ’tourist landmarks’ are a major letdown, somehow they always look much less spectacular in real life than you expect. Not so here. Despite being clothed in towers of ugly scaffolding, cranes and workmen, surrounded by a swarm of sombrero-wearing tourists (the irony of it looking like some huge termite hill), the great monolith is still a surreal and awesome sight.

Its bells ring, and the melody is even original, pleasant even – a far cry from the usual sombre, oppressive tones of the typical cathedral. Inside it’s a building site – Gaudi’s masterpiece still unfinished (100 years under construction to date), not helped by his untimely death in 1926 when he was hit by a tram whilst standing back to admire his own work (perhaps a lesson for us all)

(Gaudi's workshop)

Last night I stopped by one of the artist’s smaller works, Casa Batllo, a townhouse he designed as a commission for a rich statesmen, now owned by the family behind the famous Chuppa Chups lollipop empire)

Now architecture in general does not float my boat, far from it, I think it is rarely the ’art’ it claims to be. But I am just blown away by the artistry and sheer originality of Gaudi’s work. The design of this house for example, was like something from a wild post-seafood dream, sublime waves of ’melted’ structure and hints of alien worlds

I just stared at it for about half an hour, daydreaming. It seemed the more I looked at it, the more hidden detail of the world it was part of revealed itself. I found it as captivating as hearing a truly original piece of music (Rite Of Spring, Dark Side of The Moon,..) for the first time. It was quite late at night, which helped, the drama of the building enchanced by unusually tasteful floodlighting.

The next day I visited Park Guell. Gaudi turned landscape gardener in 1900 when Count Guell hired him to create a surreal ’minature city’ on a rural hillside (then) outside Barcelona. The project was aimed at the super-rich on the time, it was a commercial disaster.

Now owned by the city, Park Guell is an enchanting place, and an almost hallucinatory place to wander around - dreamlike fairytale cottages, Moomin valleylike winding paths, and strange bridges with arches like giant dinosaur ribcages. I am rarely ’influenced’ by other musicians, but I certainly want to create music with the same originality, attention to detail and mind/world-altering quality Gaudi’s legacy of work has.

( Park Guell : so magic your dog will poo ice cream)

Of course here in Catalonia, there are two other very famous, and highly unique artists – Dali and Picasso. It is interesting how modern, forward thinking and prolific this period in history was there and for Art in general. The beginnings of electroacoustic music and film for one.

Of course, there was conservatism, most famously at Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring premier in Paris in 1913. It’s strange rhythms and pandiatonic harmony literally shocked the audience into rioting. But now the same piece (after years of being very closely copied in film scores, good example being John Williams "Jaws" score), seems almost quaint, certainly unthreatening, today.

Anyway, enough of my little love affair with Gaudi. I’m certainly feeling inspired now. Isn’t it amazing how us artists can inspire so much from each other? It’s like our collective work (the genuine stuff, which is unconcerned with fashion, conservatism, materialism and the like) has a life of it’s own, and one artist’s Vision can go on to form a small part of another artist’s Vision and so on.. It’s kind of like the genetics of creativity. Aside from any kind of direct inspiration (eg "I like the way this artist does that"), there is also a higher type of inspiration involved, that of aspiring to create truly exceptional work, and no being afraid to take risks, remaining true to one’s own Vision no matter what and so on.

We live in artistically quite conservative (and also perversely materialistic) times. If Gaudi were alive and working today, I’ve no doubt the same happy-snapping tourists who ogle his work would consider it "weird", as many original work is. Maybe it’s always been like this.

Either way, I’m wary of people who describe anything as "weird" – it implies "this does not fit in with what everyone else says is ’normal’, and therefore suspicious to me. I have no mind of my own. I am a sheep. I have either been brainwashed by a current sociological trend (eg fashion, conservatism) or I had no brain to speak of in the first place. The idea of thinking or judging (properly) for myself scares me, and being weak minded, I will take the easy option and not do so.".

Ok, maybe that’s a bit harsh and seriousy. I’ll change the subject..

From the sublime to the ridiculous, I came across this little curiosity..

Allegedly the worlds first submarine, "Ictineo II" (from Icthys (fish) + Naus (ship), was made in 1862 by Narcis Montriol (I don’t think the then 10 year old Gaudi was involved). Anyway its very cool and quite steampunk, so I took a pic.

There only seems to be one slight minor design flaw.. I could be wrong of course, but doesn’t wood erm, float?

_________________________________________

KK’s weird and wonderful new album "Telescopes" is available to download now at iTunes and all major download sites. Exclusive CD version also available at Amazon and KK’s web world: www.kkthemusic.com

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New KK album : 'Telescopes'

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:36:27 +0200

I suppose here is as good a place as any to tell you about my new album. It’s called ‘Telescopes’, and is also the first to bear my name (ok well, my initials) on the front (I am transcending my shyness at last, haha).

The whole thing was kind of an accident really - all the music on it was made purely for the love/hell of it (with the exception of one track, “Andromeda”, which I originally wrote for Hans Zimmer for the opening scene of the “Da Vinci Code” movie, though it was rejected for the final score at the last minute), all in a kind of existential haze (from which I’ve only recently emerged)

As it was created this way, it’s quite a personal journey (though the books of Carl Sagan, the music of Ennio Morricone, Danny Elfmann, Pink Floyd were all great influences at the time of writing. I’d also been incredibly lucky in having the experience and encouraging words of some fantastic artists, most notably Bjork and Brian Eno, both heroes of mine, giving me the confidence that it’s quite okay to go do something really different, and not fear the dumb rejection this can involve from some people)

And different it is.. As a ‘concept album’ (though I don’t much like the term), it’s quite unfashionable (in the current album-less world) in commercial terms - but then, since when was all music have to be focused on commerciality and viability as commercial ‘product’ (or the rather creepy new term “content”) ? Yes sure your average person does like James Blunt, Scissor Sisters or whatever, but why should ALL music be aimed at your ‘average person’, why is the primary (and often, sadly, only) driving force behind art the aquisition of more money?anyway, the point is, what an album in this format can offer (which individual mp3s can’t) is a complete sense of identity - I didn’t so much create a few disparate pieces and throw them together in this format, but rather worked on the album as one whole ‘opus’.

Not everyone will ‘get’ this record, and that is absolutely fine with me. Like I say, few people actually have any real taste beyond the obvious. What I do may not always fit with the current fashion (though sometimes co-incidentally it does), but I’m never willing to compromise on Vision (either my own or a collaborators), this kind of integrity is not only important for my sanity(!), but for the quality of the music.

Anyway, the point here was to think about where we came from and where, ultimately, we’re going.. I tried to cover this rather vast subject in a way which is both touching and dramatic - ie human. It’s a fleeting glimpse at it all, but then so is life! It’s about many things, most of which I can’t fully explain as they came to me in dreams, or simply from the ether. I’ve been told it’s quite ‘grand’ and ‘epic’ in nature, (other interesting quotes – “Stephen Hawking/Vangelis on acid”(!), “Riverdance in space suits(!)”, “great to chill out to, gets you thinking..”, “the bastard child of Pink Floyd and Neutral Milk Hotel”.. things like that (which I think are generally complimentary but can’t be sure).. anyway I’m glad come people seem to get it already, despite it’s uniqueness.. (not something which - despite words to the contrary - most people are cool with these days)

Click the space rocket(!) on my site (spot the Tintin fan), or visit the minisite www.KKTelescopes.com to find out more.. CD is available to buy now at my online store (click the shop in the clouds), and on Amazon (US & UK).. A digital version is available (from April 8th) on iTunes and all the others too

Explore the eclectic musical world of KK at: www.KKTHEMUSIC.com

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what is a music producer?

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:34:39 +0200

It’s a common question, and it’s very hard to answer, certainly in a general way. So I’ll try.

Wiki says: “The music producer could be compared to the film director in that the producer’s job is to create, shape and mold a piece of music in accordance with their vision for the album”

Vocalist.org says this “The Music Producers job is to help you get the recording that you want to make. In most cases the music producer is also a competent arranger, composer or songwriter who can bring fresh ideas to your tracks.”

For me, it’s a role I take on from time to time, and its exact nature varies from project to project. It’s never even remotely the same.

There are some various archetypal versions of the role, which are worth mentioning quickly.. for example 1. the ‘band producer’ (often a glorified sound engineer), or 2. the ‘writer/producer’ (for example the pop songwriter who produces his own material, usually co-written with a ‘topliner’, who then records the pop singer doing the vocal to make a finished pop record).

Both have their merits in the right situation but are a little limiting, I certainly don’t’ comfortably fit in either category per se so I’ll leave it at that and offer some more personal/general thoughts. I like to think of the role as something a little more creative, inspiring and visionary.

Now a lot of the aspects of making a record are technical, and to excel at these you need years of experience in engineering, or musical knowhow. These things are both very important (and if you are a producer should certainly be so strong as skills that they are almost second nature, or work with people who excel in the fields you are weak at).. the key other thing though, is more to do with personality, character and creativity, which (like a singer with an amazing voice), you either have, or you haven’t got.

Most artists these days can do the technical stuff, and in a sense are pretty competent ‘producers’ to a degree. Most for example, have home studios, and can program and record to a reasonable standard. This kind of thing is often confused with ‘producing’. What this way of working can lack is an objective outside perspective on work (from someone ‘outside’ who can be very specific about ideas, what/how needs doing to improve the work), and of course the benefits of the wealth of experience a good producer can bring to the mix (pun intended). The results are often limited to a certain quality level (and I don’t just mean in terms of lo-fi, homegrown sound - which I actually really like a lot of the time - but in terms of it could go further in terms of the journey it set out on). A decent producer can take it to a higher level, or more accurately, help the artist take it there. That’s the ideal anyway. Of course, reality and ideal are not always pals.

Being a ‘record producer’ (I prefer the term ‘music producer’ whilst we are on definitions), is one of the various musical hats I wear. I do this for a number of reasons:

1. It keeps me ‘fresh’. In fact one of my main criteria for taking on a project is to do something I’ve not done before. To go somewhere new, and hopefully take anyone else involved with me.

2. It pays very well. Which allows me to be creatively quite brave in other areas (as I’m not striving for ‘commercial success’ in all areas all the time). My own music for example has always been far too “weird” for the kind of ‘success’ some of the more high profile music achieves. And this suits me just fine. With production, I get to explore a more commercial world, and being fresh at it, have tonnes of enthuesiasm, yet also lots of the necessary experience so I can get the results everyone wants

3. Working with other artists is fun. Collaborating on a record is great fun. Simple.

4. There’s something really satisfying about someone saying ‘here’s a problem, solve it!’, and doing just that. It’s a man thing perhaps.

5. Working on one project (eg if you are an artist or a band) all the time can be creatively unconstrucitve, and the results will show it.

6. I’m pretty good at it. Pretty, prettty good… (lost on non ‘curb’ fans I know)

Half of music is channelling something, I don’t know exactly what it is, it’s not “god” or whatever, its something more indefinable and complicated than that, call it inspiration or something.. Anyway, whatever it is, if you are an artist no doubt you have experienced it and therefore I don’t need me to try and define it (badly) for you fortunately. Anyway, whatever “It” is, it doubles in a good collaboration.

Back to the less nebulous other half. This is the ‘craft’ part of making records (a few obvious aspects being songwriting, arrangement, or sound engineering), ie the various learned skills which go into making a record. These disciplines are, with experience and practice, learn-able, and the knowledge is finely tuned over time and experience to great effect, this is certainly one of the main reasons to bring a ‘producer’ in on a record.

A few other things which a producer can be useful for (in random, shopping list format):

Expertise
Aesthetics
Song structure, tempo etc. A big one.
Arranging
Programming
Writing
Experience
Mixing
Quality Control – both Sonic (ie engineering) and Musical

Involving a teacher, who is able to nuture unique talent, who (hopefully) has unique talent themselves.

Knowing when to apply formula, and when originality. And knowing which is which.

Benefit of experience / an outside ear. Yet being open to the new

Encouragement. Though only ever genuine encouragement - interesting that the word contains the word ‘courage’. Being honest at all costs.

Eliminating problems (bad/weak ideas, band clichés etc)

Enchancing the good stuff. eg making more of hidden hooks (eg a middle eight which is actually the chorus).. turning a song on its head if necessary (leaving it alone if not)

Vision. Or help with. Guidance with the overall aesthetic of the record.. the world it creates

Editing. (tedious but necessary)

A conduit for group opinion / a non competing leader

Humour. Keeping a session/project vibey and moving.

Stopping negative situations (eg screwdriver obsessing over insignificant detail, or ego based opinions disguised as idealism). Though I personally draw the line at social work.

Perspective.

Comfort. Making a record should be an enjoyable process. Fun.

The paternal desire to help the artist make the record they’ve always wanted to make

Tricks and secrets. If I told you they wouldn’t be secrets eh?.

Fresh ideas on ‘old’ songs / ideas / problems

Someone to impress. The first point of call (before the wider audience)

Taste. Opinion.

Good judgement. The producer as a ‘taste firewall’.

Understanding of the music in hand (both a good general understanding of music, but of the specific genre). This extended to beyond music, to the cultural ground the record will cover (eg what books, what films, etc.)

Bring interesting arrangements and fresh sounds to the table if necessary

Introducing new/additional talent to the table if required

Patience
Enthusiasm

They can be the middle ground / translator between the musicians/band/artist and the sound engineer(s), as can speak ‘both languages’

Management stuff (such as budgets, organising studio sessions, etc)

I like to think one of the main roles of the producer is also to help stop the artist get stuck in creative ruts. People often go on about “fresh ears”, but in my experience one of the most useful things you can bring to the table is fresh ways of looking at things, so maybe “fresh eyes” would be a better expression?

I guess ’record production’ is a kind of expertise which is naturally developped and refined through years of experience making records, and collaboration with competent record-makers.
A few other thoughts on the matter..

Practicing the art of shutting up unless you actually have something interesting to say. It is surprising how little credence people give this rule.

The opposite of above. I’ve seen “producers” who simply pander to the artists opinion, who have no opinion of their own. Having the guts to express what you think is right for the record, not populist cowardice – to do so is not only undemocratic, but is actually a disservice to the artist you are supposed to be helping.

Not everyone works in the same way. I don’t even work the same way on a new project to how I have done before. Sometimes I’m quite ‘hands on’ and other times I take more of a back seat. For me the process has become largely instinctive, even though the situations I find myself in are never the same. The two big producers I learned from when I was in a kind of ‘understudy’ phase were Brian Eno and Steven Street, and their approaches couldn’t really be more different, yet they both got great results.

On the other end of the scale, there’s PopWorld, which I spent a few fun years in, mostly as a ‘programmer’ (a kind of junior producer), with big ‘hit’ producer/writers such as Rick Nowels, Cathy Dennis. These sessions were like Pop masterclasses. I love great pop music. I still do. When its great. I’m not embarrassed by this.

On the subject of genre isn’t it a bit patronising and erroneous this assumption that the modern musician, or music fan, listens to, or creates, in one ‘genre’ or way?. It’s a bit backward to label people or indeed music like this.

I like examples of music in many differing styles in fact, it depends on what you want from the music I think. Bjork has a very good way of explaining this one (she has very ‘eclectic’ tastes also, from cheesy pop to very abstract contemporary classical), “sometimes you want porridge, sometimes you want a cheeseburger”. Ie you can like both, you just digest them at different times depending on what you fancy. I kind of choose projects like this, ie I’m always drawn to something I’ve never done before.

I get countless demos, emails and the like about potential ‘work’, and for the record I’m (usually) simply not interested. Most of it is rubbish, or worse, unoriginal. I have to love the music and see the artists originality to even think about taking on a production. Then I need to meet them to be sure they will be good to work with. Life is too short to work with the wrong people, or on crap music. I used to be less discerning, but these days I really have to think an artist is exceptional for me to take on a project. The think which usually swings it, is how different (or not) it is.

There’s often a cliché which gets brought up on the subject of record production, which is “the only rule is there are no rules”. This is certainly true in my experience of it, and I’m hoping it applies to blogging too, as I’ve just realised I’ve “uber-blogged” again and no doubt bored you to tears with pages of waffle I can’t be bothered to edit. Now if it were sound not words I’d be editing as we speak….

more about KK's production at www.21stcenturygenius.com

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The history of the Universe . Plus toilet humour.

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:24:47 +0200

I’m writing this 40 metres under the ocean bed (about 100 metres from the surface). I’m typing on a powerful computer the size of my hand as thousands of tonnes of water rush past above me. It’s the stuff of science fiction 20 years ago, but like many such things, quite everyday in today’s world. I am of course in the Eurostar train returning from Paris to my current home, London.

The channel tunnel is a masterpiece of engineering, quite rightly it’s officially one of the ‘7 wonders of the modern world’ (nb, why does every kid these days want to be the next big pop star/rapper/film star/celebrity famous for doing nothing? It’s strange and a bit sad not only in the artistic sense (many ‘recording artists’ these days no very little, or care very little, about music for example), but in terms of a bigger picture.. I bet the amount of kids who’d love to be the next Brunel, Hawking, Einstein, Stravinsky, Picasso..(you get the point I’ll stop there).. is tiny in comparison ).

30 dark miles later, daylight! Ish. We arrive in England (unsurprisingly it’s rainy here too), leaving the tunnel I remember a funny event I witnessed at Glastonbury festival a few years ago..

The festival is notorious for security (in terms of not letting people in without a ticket, not “anti terror” action), and so each year a more ridiculously monolithic fence is constructed around the site perimeter, and each year some enterprising crusties find a way of breaking in. This year it was particularly amusing, as these guys quite brilliant system attempted not to climb over, or break through the fence as in previous attempts, but to dig underneath it. Outside the fence was a small, inconspicuous 2 man tent (the tunnel entrance) and the other side of it, another two man tent (the exit). One by one, several hundred happy punters emerged (minus their 5 pound entrance fee) from the tiny tent, prompting nearby watching revellers to wonder if the wacky-baccy they had been smoking for breakfast was perhaps a little strong for them.

Anyway, back to the bigger picture.

We’ve come a long way in our short time on Earth. A historical timeframe Carl Sagan explained succinctly in his ‘cosmic calendar’ – a simple timeline which shows us how events unfolded if the entire 12-15 billion year history of the universe were to be compressed into just one year..

Jan 1st. Big Bang
March. Milky Way forms
August. Our sun, the Earth, and nearby planets formed
Sept. Beginnings of primitive life in Earth’s seas (single celled organisms & Robbie Williams fans)
Nov. First multi celled organisms
Dec 15. the ‘Cambrian Explosion’ of new life forms on Earth (still in the oceans)
Dec 17 first vertebrates
Dec 18 first land plants
Dec 20 first four limbed animals
Dec 21 insects flourish
Dec 24 Dinosaurs rule the Earth
Dec 25 Early ancestors of mammals appear
Dec 27 First birds
Dec 29 Dinosaurs become extinct
Dec 31 –
1015am first apes..
934pm apes walk upright
1048pm homo erectus – beginning of modern man appears
1154pm anatomically modern man.
1159pm (and 45 seconds). Writing is invented
1159pm (and 50 seconds) the great pyramids built at Giza
1159pm (and 59 seconds). Columbus sets sail for America

.. on this, more universal, timescale, the past couple hundred years, the entire ‘modern world’ is but a fleeting fraction of a second. Almost everything we take seriously in life has only just happened and is most likely pretty insignificant. A pleasantly sobering thought and reminder to not take life too seriously, or worry about that nasty gas bill..

So I’ll end this lofty blog (log?) with a bit of toilet humour..

1. I saw this sign in the gent’s loo of a train. I believe it’s esoteric symbolism is instructing the occupier to sit down to do his business. Of particular note is his bowler hat, which implies his masculinity will remain intact throughout any ladylike proceedings.

2. I saw this at a sweet counter. A popular new sweet for kids here in the UK, which encourages them to eat bits of candy crap (literally) from a colourful mock toilet bowl. The generation to come may have some scatological issues to deal with..

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Are we living in a computer program?

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:44:30 +0200

Think back to your earliest memory.

Or indeed any childhood memory. Something vivid, where you can shut you eyes and remember every sight, sound, smell in crystal clear detail..

Got it?

OK here’s the crazy thing..

You weren’t there.

Well at least not physically. Of course, as we know, the billions of cells which make up a human body are in constant states of death and birth, and so it can be fairly accurately estimated that about once every seven years, the cycle has completed itself and so not a single one of the cells which formed you seven years ago actually exists now.

So why do we remember?

It’s basically a mystery.

What’s even more amazing is the rate at which brain cells die and are born, your brain itself is completely regenerated even sooner. Something like once a year or so. So our memories might not even exist in first generation form at all, they could simply be memories of memories (copies of copies) if you like.

This would of course explain why I can never find that really important thing I put safely in the super easy-to-remember place that time (I’m not sure how long) ago.. (I can’t even recall exactly what it was even to be honest)

Anyway, I digress.. go back to the childhood memory..

In fact pick something more recent, a few years ago, months ago maybe, hell, even yesterday will do.

Now here’s the even crazier thing..

You weren’t there either.

In fact you’re probably not even here now. (maybe)
The reason I bring all this up is someone was asking me the other day about my piece ‘Ancestor Simulation’ (I believe their actual words were “what kind of a name is that for a piece of music?!’), so I thought I’d explain the inspiration.. Fellow geeks; I apologise in advance, you no doubt already know this one, so this blog will be rather hackneyed.. If you haven’t heard of ‘Ancestor Simulation’ though read on…

Now you’ve probably seen “The Matrix”, so you’re already more familiar with this theory than you realise.

“Ancestor Simulation Theory” (to give it its full, and even less title-friendly name), was first thought up by a theologist bod named Nick Bostrom, who also has many interesting ideas about how the world is going to end in one catastrophic disaster after another (always a good bedtime read)

Anyway, worryingly it’s been very hard for anyone to disprove his arguement on Ancestor Simulation, and it is certainly one of the more rational arguements for an all empowering universal creator of some description. I’ll explain it now very simply in case you non-geeks haven’t heard it before :
The conclusion of the arguement (based largely on probability) is that at least one of the following propositions must be true:

“(1) almost all civilisations at our level of development become extinct before become technologically mature

(2) The fraction of technologically mature civilisations which are interested in creating ancestor simulations is almost zero

(3) You are almost certainly living in a computer simulation.”

The supposition is that we have a choice of a few destinies, given enough timescale. We either become extinct (either we blow ourselves up, or nature takes care of this for us), or we and our technology evolve to the point where we reach a ‘posthuman’ stage in our evolution, where running real-life an acurate simulation of our universe is not only possible, but the kind of trivial thing one could do on a mobile phone whilst waiting for the no 29 bus. Now assuming we have survived, and we are indeed interested in running a computer simulation with our (by then) vast amounts of computing power, then there will be simulated minds just like ours, and working out the numbers there would actually be vastly more simulated universes (in fact possibly billions) than the one real one. And with each universe simulation containing billions of minds, the odds of you or your individual mind being a real one are billions to one against. Scary stuff.

Now this may sound like nonsense, but think about how computing power has increased over the last say, 50 years, and for the purposes of the theory, timescale is irrelevant - it could take us a million years to reach that point, it wouldn’t matter.

Of course this very idea, this blog even, could be what’s known here in geekworld as an ‘Easter Egg’, ie a subtle clue from the programmers that all is not quite what it seems. But then, maybe, just maybe, we are indeed ‘real’ after all (whatever that means).

*By the way, there is no Sex in this blog at all. I simply put that in the title to attract your attention, and get you to read all that boring stuff above in the vein hope of a little titilation. Sorry.

**There is however one Lie, which is of course is explained above

Life on Mars (and others)

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:46:13 +0200

In just over a months time, NASA’s (aptly named) Phoenix lander will reach Mars, marking the beginning of its many reconnaissance missions in it’s ambitious (but entirely do-able) 30 year plan for a manned mission to the infamous red planet. Just short of a century since we landed on the moon, we are to set foot on an alien planet for the first time in history. It’s quite a daunting prospect. Though with the way things are going here on Earth, it is likely to be our main chance at a longterm future.

The age of space exploration has truly begun, and (if we are not stupid enough to blow ourselves up in the meantime.. and lets face it nationalistic shows of military force are the main driving force behind such projects ironically), it is – fingers crossed - likely to be the main thing our era is remembered for. If we are still around, our grand-children’s children (perhaps even our grandchildren) will undoubtedly be the first settlers on other worlds.

Assuming we maintain world peace (a first in human history), now we have the combined power to destroy ourselves entirely, with massive overpopulation problems and environmental catastrophies to come (together with massive advances in technology) the colonisation of other worlds is likely to become a fairly exotic, though essentially normal , everyday and almost mundane activity (much like say, a typical British family relocating to Spain). I’m sure awful reality shows on the subject will be made and transmitted on whatever medium is the fashion at the time (I would suggest the title 'Life On Mars' but that's been done)

By the way, if this all sounds a little ‘star trek’ or something to you, you probably watch too much TV (or follow popular thought-fashion a little too closely - the two things are often connected). Try and get some perspective and shift your paradigm a little. This is all hugely significant to us all. Yes, due to the very public space race in the 1960s, and the popularity of science fiction generally (especially in the 1950s and 1970s), there is a tendency to almost consider such thought as dated or fantasy even, but there is a certain reality to it and it is the one thing, along with the advent of high technology, which will define our generation.

On a separate though kinda related subject, the solution to the energy crisis also lies in nearby space. Most likely in solar energy : a large farm of super-panels covering a portion of the (relatively empty and unused) Sahara desert would create enough energy to power the ENTIRE world, and is sustainable, or solar panels on satellite ‘power stations’ in orbit could generate around 6 times their equivalent on Earth (as there is no atmosphere for the sunlight to filter though), where even less infrastructure, space and environmental damage would be necessary.

Thinking bigger though, more energy goes to waste (entirely naturally) in our galaxy than humankind has used in it’s entire lifetime every single second. If we could somehow harness this energy (fighting our primative urges to weaponise it of course) we would not only have many billion times the energy we need, without major environmental damage, but we could perhaps use this abundant energy to develop and power the next generation of transport technology, and like our pioneering ancestors here on Earth, set sail.. but this time to the stars.

www.kktelescopes.com

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